And to go along with my intro I have a fanfiction to share! ^_^
Pairing: Koyama x Shige
Author's Notes: This is my first ever Koyato fic and only the second boy/boy fic I've ever written. It was a spur of the moment thing and it only took me one day to write, so it probably isn't one of my best stories, but even so I still had fun writing it.
Shige had noticed a change in himself recently. It had been gradual. So gradual that at first he hadn’t a clue the change was even happening. But reality hit him full force one day thanks to Ryo.
Normally during breaks at rehearsals Shige would joke around with the other members. However, lately he would huddle up on a couch or in a corner with his nose buried in a book. He’d loose himself in the story and if anyone were to interrupt his reading he’d shoot them an irritated look, but with forced politeness talk to them about whatever it was they had disturbed him for. While always trying to be polite Shige would end the conversation as quickly as possible so he could return to his book.
It was one day when just about every single members of NEWS had interrupted him for one reason or another. Shige felt he was about to go berserk. He’d just been able to return to his book after listening to Masuda ramble on about some nearby restaurant he’d discovered. Afterwards Ryo had walked up to him and stared silently until Shige realized he was there. When Shige turned eyes blazing with annoyance to Ryo’s gaze Ryo simply said, “The reason you don’t get girls is because you’re a nerdy bookworm.” He then flashed Shige a cheeky smirk and walked away.
Shige found his grip tightening on his book. Normally such a typical Ryo comment wouldn’t bother him, but after being interrupted so many times Shige’s patience and will to be polite were just about gone. Forcing himself to take a few deep breaths, Shige once again began reading, thankful that he was finally alone.
A few minutes passed before Koyama came bounding into the room. He plopped down right beside Shige and began babbling animatedly about how only moments ago Kusano had tripped, plowed into Ryo, knocked over a rack of costumes, and had barely escaped with his life when Ryo realized what an intimate position they’d landed in.
Normally this would annoy Shige, but for some reason it didn’t. His body went on automatic as he calmly marked his page and closed his book, lips turning up ever so slightly in an amused smile as Shige turned his full attention to Koyama.
As Koyama finished his story he grinned widely at Shige and it was that moment that Shige realized something had changed. Out of everyone in NEWS Koyama used to irritate him the most when he was reading because he would always do exactly what he’d just been doing. Flop next to Shige and talk non-stop. But he was not irritated in the least. Quite the opposite actually. He even found his cheeks growing warm and a grin to mirror Koyama’s appearing on his face.
He thought long and hard about it. What exactly had changed that would make him act so differently towards Koyama? Especially after Ryo’s comment had nearly sent him over the edge? As he considered it more and more he began to remember bits and pieces of the gradual change. It had started after he’d spent the night at Koyama’s apartment to comfort him over a bad break up. Koyama’s depression had concerned him and he’d spent every moment he possibly could with the older boy in order to try and cheer him up. When Koyama had finally gone back to his old, cheerful self Shige was overcome with guilt because he was somewhat disappointed. Without being upset anymore Koyama wouldn’t need Shige around to cheer him up, and the though of Koyama no longer needing him sent Shige’s heart plummeting.
At first Shige had retreated back into his own little world of solitude. Still being friendly with his band mates, but having a constant feeling of wanting to be left alone. It was then that Shige had gone from joking with the others to hiding in the corner with a book. Every time he saw Koyama joking around with someone that wasn’t him he felt a pain in his chest.
However, when Koyama finally turned his attention to Shige he felt his whole world brighten and couldn’t help but respond to the young man’s enthusiasm for life with a smile.
After contemplating this information for a long while Shige finally came to a realization. One which made him gasp and had his face turning white. One which had him leaning against the wall to support his weight as his legs began to shake. Shige slid to the floor as the realization finally sunk in, closing his eyes and leaning his head back against the wall.
He’d fallen in love with Koyama.
Koyama bounded into NEWS’ resting room, his eyes automatically searching every corner of the room in hopes of finding Shige curled up with another one of his books. He’d never admit it to anyone other than himself, but Koyama always found the expression Shige wore while reading rather adorable and would often stand at a distance and watch him for a while before going over to talk to him. A slight pout came to his lips when he found no sign of Shige.
“He’s not coming,” came Yamapi’s voice from behind.
“What?” Koyama asked, turning to face the groups leader.
“Shige. He isn’t coming. He called earlier and said he’s sick, so he’s staying home.”
Koyama frowned at this. “He seemed perfectly fine yesterday.”
Yamapi merely shrugged and brushed past Koyama to join Tegoshi and Kusano on the couch.
After claiming the seat Shige usually occupied Koyama immediately dug his keitai out of his back and flipped it open, typing a message to Shige.
Sighing heavily, Shige stared boredly at his clock. He felt bad about lying to Yamapi. He would surely tell everyone and Koyama would probably worry about Shige’s health all day long and stop by that night after to work to check up on him. He had a habit of doing so whenever a member of the group was sick. Always taking the time to check up on them and doing whatever he could to nurse them back to health.
Shige had no doubt in his mind that even if Koyama didn’t stop by he’d eventually figure out that Shige was never really sick and be that much more concerned. It meant something had happened to make Shige want to avoid work. Knowing full well that Koyama was not the type to simply drop the subject and let it go he feared having to face him. It was hard enough lying over the phone to Yamapi and Shige didn’t think he’d have to nerve to do it face to face. Especially to Koyama.
His original intention when calling Yamapi had not been to claim to be sick. He wanted someone to talk to. He wanted to be able to tell someone his feelings so the burden on his shoulders would not feel so heavy. But not Yamapi, he’d decided moments after hearing the leaders voice answering the phone. Yamapi was too close to Koyama and whether it was by accident or on purpose he’d undoubtedly end up telling everything to Koyama. Shige couldn’t stand the thought of that. Koyama was a very dear friend to him. He was afraid of losing Koyama completely if the older boy were to discover his feelings. If he simply kept quiet and acted as though nothing had changed they could still be friends. Even if it was painful for him, Shige decided he’d rather be ‘just friends’ than lose Koyama all together.
For now he couldn’t face the other. He needed a day or two to gather his thoughts and to figure out how to keep his feelings in check.
The sudden buzzing of his keitai had Shige jumping in surprise. Breathing a sigh, he reached over to the night stand and grabbed the phone, flipping it open to find he had a new text message.
Make sure you get plenty of rest today. Drink lots of water. Even if you don’t feel like eating, at least have some fruit or vegetables. But most of all get some rest. If you aren’t better by tomorrow I’ll be worried and have to skip work to come take care of you. And you know how unhappy that would make the managers, so you’d better get well.
Shige had to smile at this. But the smile quickly faded to a frown. The fact that Koyama was worried about him sent his heart fluttering because it meant that Koyama cared. However, at the same time his heart ached because Shige knew all too well that Koyama’s caring went no further than deep friendship.
It was with this thought in mind that Shige tossed his keitai aside, flopped back onto his bed, and allowed warm tears to roll freely down his cheeks.
The second rehearsal ended Koyama raced as quickly as he could to the showers, making sure to be the first one there. He showered and dressed in record time, immediately fleeing the building once his things were gathered. His first thought was to go straight to Shige’s, but then he decided to stop somewhere and get some soup just to be sure Shige would eat at least a little.
Without Shige at rehearsal Koyama had been completely thrown off. Everyone else had easily been able to adjust to the missing member, but Koyama just couldn’t seem to do the same. He messed up the choreography again and again. Several times he’d sing the wrong lyrics or forget them completely. During breaks he’d find himself automatically going to either the chair or the corner usually occupied by Shige. Aside from singing and apologizing for messing up he’d barely said two words the entire day. It would be impossible for the other members not to notice, but no one said anything.
Koyama finally pulled his car into the parking lot of a small shop not far from Shige’s that he’d always enjoyed. He was relived to find the place nearly empty because it meant he would be able to get the soup that much faster and get to Shige’s. Plus there was much less chance of him being recognized and being delayed by having to fight off fans.
The shop owner recognized Koyama immediately. He and Shige were frequent visitors and had come to be rather good friends with the owner and his wife.
“You’re alone today?” the elderly man asked.
“Shige is at home. He isn’t feeling well,” Koyama explained. “I wanted to bring some soup to him.”
The owner nodded in understanding. “His favorite, I assume.”
After disappearing for a few moments the owner returned with a paper bag containing the cup of Shige’s favorite soup. Koyama reached for his wallet, but the owner stopped him.
“Don’t worry about it. You just hurry on over there to see how he’s doing.”
Koyama smiled and gave a grateful bow before jogging back to his car. Although in reality it was only a few minutes, the trip from the shop to Shige’s house seemed like an eternity. With each second that ticked by Koyama found himself worrying more and more.
Had Shige been able to rest? Had he been drinking enough water? Was he feeling worse? What if he felt so bad he refused to see Koyama? Or what if he had gotten worse and needed to go to the hospital? Shige’s parents both worked during the day, so he’d have been left completely alone.
As Koyama pulled up to Shige’s house he quickly snatched up the bag of soup and headed up to the door, nearly forgetting to shut off his car in his haste. He gave a hesitant knock and for a long while silence followed. Just as he was about to knock again he heard footsteps approaching the door and the lock being undone. The door swung open to reveal a rather surprised looking Shige.
Koyama smiled and sighed with relief at how healthy Shige appeared. “Yokatta. You’re obviously feeling better. I’ve been worried all day.” He held up the bag of soup. “I brought this for you.”
For a few moments Shige stared silently at Koyama before shaking his head and moving aside to let the elder boy in. He felt his hands beginning to shake as he closed the door after Koyama had entered. His face turned pale as his nerves got the better of him.
Having been to Shige’s home countless times Koyama felt right at home and had gone straight to the kitchen to get a spoon for Shige to eat the soup with. When he turned around he found Shige standing at the kitchen entrance, body trembling, skin pale, and eyes locked on the floor. Immediately Koyama forgot the soup and rushed to Shige’s side.
“Shige? Daijoubu? You’re so pale all of the sudden.”
Shige swallowed hard. He felt so nervous seeing Koyama after realizing his feelings. His heart pounded furiously against his chest. He wanted so desperately just to tell Koyama everything and get it off his chest, but he was too afraid that Koyama would no longer want to be friends with him, so he fought to keep the words from coming out.
His vision suddenly began to blur. Every inch of him felt weak. Sweat trickled down the side of his face as he reached out to tightly grasp the counter. “Kei-chan,” he whispered just before darkness came crashing down on him and he reeled forward.
“Shige ” Koyama cried, quickly catching the boy in his arms and sinking to the ground. He clung tightly to Shige’s body, cradling his head against his shoulder as he ran his fingers through Shige’s hair.
“Baka,” Koyama said in a low voice. “If you were in such bad condition you never should have gotten out of bed. I could have let myself in with the spare key. Or waited for one of your parents.” He rested his cheek against Shige’s head, tightening his grip around the younger’s body. “Baka,” he whispered again. “I’ve been worried sick about you all day.”
Just a few minutes later Shige began to regain consciousness. He heard the familiar sound of Koyama’s voice and felt the warm arms around him. Koyama had yet to realized that Shige had woken up.
“You’ve been acting weird lately. You’ve been isolating yourself from everyone. I tried not to worry about it. I tried to tell myself that it was just your personality, but no matter how many times I repeated it to myself I couldn’t make myself believe it. Shige... Whatever is bothering you you can tell me. No matter how bad it is I’ll always stay by your side.”
The sniffling and the dampness against his hair that followed was a dead giveaway to Shige that Koyama had begun to cry.
“Shige... Don’t scare me like this. Please wake up.”
For a few seconds Shige still remained silent, but when Koyama’s body began to tremble with sobs Shige shifted his body so he could look up at his friends face. “Kei-chan?”
Wordlessly Koyama crushed Shige’s body against his own, clinging to Shige as though his very life depended on it.
Several minutes has passed before Koyama finally released Shige and pulled back, gripping him by the shoulders to hold him out at arms length and look into his eyes.
“Shige... Please, tell me what’s been bothering you lately.”
The desperate look in Koyama’s eyes was something that Shige couldn’t ignore. He knew he’d never be able to lie to Koyama, so he lowered his eyes and drew in a shuddering breath. “I’m in love,” he stated. “But I’m in love with someone I shouldn’t feel this way towards.”
Had he been looking up Shige would have seen the way Koyama’s face fell at the mention of him being in love. He may have noticed how a small flicker of hope that had been burning inside Koyama for the longest time slowly began to die.
“Who?” Koyama asked quietly, almost afraid of the answer.
Shige bit his lip and shifted his weight uncomfortably. “You.”
A long silence followed and Shige still didn’t look up at Koyama. He could just imagine the look of utter disgust on his friends face. Squeezing his eyes shut and balling his hands into tight fists Shige rose to his feet.
“I understand what you must think of all of this. But you’re such an important person to me. I know you don’t return my feelings, but please don’t let this ruin our friendship. Kei-chan, I just... Just please let me stay by your side. Even if it’s only as a friend.”
He could hear Koyama standing up and expected to hear him heading straight for the door. What he didn’t expect was to feel an arm around his waist pulling him up against Koyama’s body and a gentle caress on his cheek. Finally opening his eyes, Shige looked up to meet Koyama’s gaze.
Koyama smiled gently down at Shige. “Baka. After all this time you still haven’t realized it.” He chuckled slightly at the confused look Shige wore. Moving his hand away from Shige’s cheek to cup his chin, Koyama leaned down to brush his lips over Shige’s in a soft kiss.
Shige swooned at this. He felt as though his entire body had been lifted into the air. Although gentle, Koyama’s kiss was intoxicating. When they finally parted Shige wrapped his arms around Koyama’s neck, burying his face against the older boys shoulder.
“I want you to stay by my side Shige. But as much more than a friend. I love you, Shige. I have for so long.”
“Kei-chan... I only just realized it, but... I love you, too.”
Koyama pressed his lips lightly against Shige’s temple. “You lied,” he whispered into Shige’s ear.
“You weren’t sick at all. You were avoiding me.”
Shige blushed at this and Koyama merely chuckled, bringing his lips down to meet Shige’s a second time.
Smiling into the kiss, Shige raised himself up onto his tip toes to deepen it. Things were changing between him and Koyama, but some changes were for the better.
Comments are a wonderful thing! Pretty please let me know what you think! ^_^