I did it. I really continued writing it, although I planned it as a one-shot.
I hope you like it anyway..
Title: The everglow
Pairing: Koyama x Shige (NEWS)
Genre: Romance, whatever.
Rating: PG-13, I guess. As I said, never written fanfiction like this before. So if I have to change it, please do tell :)
Summary: There isn't really a big story. Let's just say, Shige feels lonely and doesn't know why.
Chapter one can be found here : unfenced-fire.livejournal.com/1071.html#c
Chapter two :
What can I say? I felt like continuing. There's so much in my head to write about, and this story is like a therapy right now. I hope you enjoy reading it, because it helps writing it.
Shige had fallen asleep eventually.
Koyama had been watching him for the last thirty minutes, wondering about how one person could look so peaceful and so relaxed, almost smiling with relief in their sleep.
As he looked at his best friend however, his insides felt like they were burning, his stomach was prickling by the thought of what happened last night. Koyama’s lips were dry and chapped from the kissing; his skin smelled like Shige’s – a mixture of their two scents, united in one. Koyama’s heart was beating faster by the thought of Shige’s touch, the feeling of their lips locked together, of falling from his peak of pleasure and being caught by two arms, wrapping tightly around him, protecting and holding on at the same time, never wanting to let go.
Shige mumbled in his sleep, his hands clutching the pillow in his arms that he had taken as a replacement for Koyama’s chest after he had turned around in his deep sleep. Koyama couldn’t help but smile at the sight of this. He would never say it out loud (well the funny, cute and sometimes annoying Koyama of News would, but he didn’t feel like that person right now), but right now, all that he could say about his best friend - whom he had slept with last night, getting overwhelmed by feelings and pleasure, crossing the line he himself had mentioned earlier – was that he looked cute.
Giggling to himself, Koyama shook his head by the thought of it and sighed, when he glanced over to the alarm clock. In about two minutes, there would be an awful sound filling the room, signalizing that it was time to get up, get packed and move to the next city. Koyama didn’t want to get up. He wanted to stay like this forever, believing that Shige and he could be more than just two friends that made a mistake by crossing this certain line. The older man got up before the alarm clock would ring, put on his boxers and his bathrobe which had been thrown to the floor a few hours ago. He tried not to look at the brown-haired man, breathing deeply, enjoying the first good night sleep in months. He wanted to be there when he woke up, to hold him tight and never let him go. But he just sat down on his own bed, waiting until the alarm went off and Shige started murmuring unwillingly.
Shige hated this sound, it made his head ache and it made him force his eyes open, although he wasn’t yet used to the light floating the foreign room. He wanted to turn around, thinking that he would find himself in Koyama’s arms. But as he did turn around, no one was there. For a split second he thought he had dreamed everything that happened the night before. Yet he felt his dry lips, sore muscles and he smelled the scent of Koyama on his skin.
“Time to get up.” Koyama hated himself for talking without thinking sometimes. This sentence had sounded neutral, not caring or tender, like he wanted it too. He saw Shige’s tired eyes widening in surprise at his tone. “Good morning to you too.” Shige said angrily, well, tried to but failed, since his voice was still raspy from sleeping. Why was Koyama sitting on his own bed, more or less dressed while he was still naked, in the bed they had fallen asleep next to each other?
“Kei-chan… What’s wrong?” Koyama shook his head, smiling “Nothing. It’s just time to get up. The bus leaves soon.”
Shige rose and was now sitting on his bed, stretching his arms and yawning. Koyama’s suppressed a gasp when he saw the marks he had left on Shige’s skin. They were red and definitely visible, even when Shige was wearing a shirt. Koyama wondered if his neck was plastered with those signs too, but refused to think about it, when Shige got up, dropping the blanket and wincing in pain when he made the first step. “Are you okay?” Koyama rushed over, but Shige just forced a smile and went to the bathroom without answering. As he heard Shige locking the door, Koyama sighed. Why is it so weird between us? His stomach was now not prickling because of the pleasurable memories but because of regrets. What if their friendship was now ruined forever? What if Koyama had forced Shige into giving in by “pushing the right buttons”?
At the same time Koyama was seriously doubting that he did the right thing yesterday, Shige was standing in front of the running shower, not wanting to wash off Kei’s scent on his skin and not wanting to get in, not wanting this day to be normal and daily-life-like. He would have wanted Koyama to be there when he wakes up, assuring him that if things would change between them, they would be better, not awkward. The shower was still running, the warmth of the water heating up the room, and Shige’s tears heating up the skin on his cheeks.
“Ne, Shige, how long will you take? I need to shower too!”
Koyama thought it would be best to act casually now, not creating any weirdness between them. Shige blinked at the door. Is he freaking serious? He couldn’t believe Koyama was talking to him like that.
“Ten minutes.” He yelled, finally getting into the shower, the hot water almost burning his skin. He was angry and insecure. He wanted to talk about what happened, how things would continue and most of all, how Koyama was feeling now. But apparently, his best friend had no intention to do so. Shige showered quickly and didn’t really bother to take care of himself. The marks on his skin were like burning reminders of last night, shining in bright red and even felt visible after Shige got dressed and covered most of them with his clothes. The most visible one was the one near his ear, and he wondered how he could cover it up - he was not really fond of the other members asking questions or picking on him – when he heard an impatient knock on the door. “Geez..” Shige mumbled, unlocking the door. “Just get in. I’m dressed.” He added, although it felt kind of unnecessary saying that after what happened just a few hours ago.
Koyama hesitated before getting in. “Sorry, I’ll be quick.” Shige nodded lazily, trying to style his messy hair and not locking at Koyama. The older man let his bathrobe slide down his shoulders and Shige caught himself staring at his best friend through the mirror. His heart skipped a beat and he felt like drowning in all impressions, all memories, all those feelings of the last night. He thought he could feel Koyama’s skin under his fingertips, his lips like they were still brushing against Koyama’s. But Koyama didn’t seem to notice him and got into the shower after dropping his boxers.
Shige decided it would be easier for him to go back to packing his things, than being here, in the same room with Kei and knowing that he couldn’t just pull him into an embrace, like he wanted to. Kei didn’t seem to feel like this. Maybe he had just given into Shige’s begging for affection, because he thought that Shige needed this after getting all depressed over his ex-girlfriend.
He didn’t give a damn about that girl right now. He couldn’t call back a single memory of being with her that felt the slightest like the last night had felt for him. And like he had said last night: He always missed something when he was with her. Sure, she was a sweet person, too. They had good times together, fun times, times when he could look in her eyes and honestly say that he loved her. But that was so over. And it felt like a lie, like a childish thing when he thought about the things he wanted to say to Kei right now. He felt like crying again, but damn, he wasn’t a crybaby and he didn’t want Kei to see how he was really feeling. If his best friend wanted to go back to normal, Shige was willing to do it, just for the sake of their friendship. He felt like lying to his heart, but that was something he had to deal with, while he was packing his things.
Koyama stayed under the shower a little longer, taking his time to delay the point where he had to face Shige again, pretending it was in his best interest that they behaved normally again.
When he got out of the bathroom however, he felt himself being locked inside Shige’s arms. Koyama gasped, his heart racing from one second to the other. “Please just tell me… just tell me you don’t regret it.” Shige was whispering into his ear, his voice cracked like he was about to cry. Koyama laid his hand on Shige’s back “Remember how I told you, that I don’t want to regret anything?” Shige nodded slightly, still not letting go of Koyama. The older man pulled away from Shige slightly and wondered about the hurt look in his eyes. “This is how it’s going to be then?” Shige asked, quietly. Koyama smiled “Nothing will change, okay? It’s going to be okay. I promise.” Then he turned around, starting to pack his things.
Neither of them said a word on the way down in the elevator. Shige put his headphones on, trying to blast away the feelings with loud music. Koyama had no expression whatsoever. He just waited and when the doors of the elevator opened, smiled brightly like he always did when he greeted their fellow members. The others weren’t too curious about the tension between Koyama and Shige, since they were all still very tired and just relieved, that they could get on a bus now, sleeping for at least another two hours. Shige picked a seat in the back, snuggling into it, turning the volume of his music up and signalizing, that he didn’t want to be disturbed by anyone.
They got to the venue and when rehearsal started, things got weirder for Shige. Koyama was acting like usual, but Shige just couldn’t, messing up the choreography and the tunes, getting glared on by his other band members, until he decided to pull himself together. If Koyama was acting like he always did, he could, too. In one of the breaks, Tegoshi went over to Shige and put a hand on his shoulder smiling “It’s because you’re having a cold, right? That’s why you’re a little clumsy today?” – “A cold?” Shige repeated, confused. “The scarf you’re wearing. It’s because you’re cold, ne?” Shige nodded hastily, kicking himself for being to slow. “Ne, Tegoshi. Do you know if we have single rooms in the hotel tonight?” – “I don’t think so.” Tegoshi shook his head “Didn’t you listen to our manager earlier?” Shige shook his head and Tegoshi patted him on the head “Get well soon, ne?” Shige nodded and got up, looking for his bandleader, who was in some corner having some important phone call again. As he saw the look on Shige’s face however, he hung up rather quickly “You okay?” he asked and Shige nodded “I am. I was just wondering if you could change rooms with me tonight.. in the hotel. Koyama snores horribly and I need a good night’s sleep, because I’m feeling kind of sick and.. “ Yamap smiled “Sure. But you and Kei-chan didn’t have a fight, did you?” – “Nothing of the sort. Just change rooms with me, okay?” – “Fine.” Yamap patted him on the head “Take care of yourself.” I’m grown-up. No need to pat me on the head. “Thanks.” Shige smiled and got back to rehearsal again.
Koyama had been watching Shige the whole time, feeling guilty and at the same time, every time their eyes met accidentally, Koyama would feel like they were a million of butterflies in his stomach, his fingers would prickle, he would feel like his breath was getting faster and all he wanted to do in these moments was ignoring what he had said this morning and just cheering Shige up.
The concert was perfect, like always. Shige had managed to pull himself together and even mastered the solo he shared with Koyama without messing up. Koyama was glad that Shige was enjoying the show, and he was, smiling honestly, laughing, getting pushed up by the screams and the fans singing along. Koyama was carefully watching him all the time, wishing not 80% of the lyrics he was singing were something about love, happiness, summer or dancing all night.
Shige was glad about the distraction, about using all his energy to have a good time with the fans. He didn’t think about last night, about Koyama, or about anything but being here, on this stage.
After the concert and the dinner with the others, they got back to the hotel, the manager handing out the keycards. Koyama couldn’t hide his surprise, when Yamap offered him his second card. “What? Why? I mean~” He looked to meet Shige’s gaze, but he was looking away. “I’m sharing the room with you, Kei-chan! It will be fun, ne?” Yamap was smiling at him brightly but Koyama couldn’t answer his smile.
“Which leaves me with gloomy Shige, great job P.” Ryo moaned, as usual not bothering about maybe hurting anyone with his words. Shige mumbled some words of excuse, and then followed Ryo to their room, carefully avoiding Koyama, who was looking at him, begging for an explanation.
Just look at me, look at me.
But Shige had already left.
“I’m warning you. I’m not in the mood to be your agony uncle. So suck it up and don’t get on my nerves.” Ryo said as soon as they had entered their room and Shige put his things next to his bed. He felt like answering something not so nice, but swallowed instead of doing so. “I’m okay.” – “Yeah, I can see that.” Ryo raised his eyebrows. It was not like Ryo didn’t care about his fellow band mates. It was just his image, that he always carried into his private life, too.
Shige was laying on his bed, playing with his cellphone. He did that for some time, until Ryo said “Okay. What happened, why are you and Koyama not in one room? Did something happen?” Shige lifted his head. Then he smiled “We’re fine. We just had a little disagreement on something and I’d rather be alone tonight.” Ryo nodded. After a while he said “If you want to talk, you know…” Shige smiled at Ryo who was struggling to say something nice, when his usual tone towards Shige was mocking and mean. “I’m okay, Ryo-chan.” Ryo nodded and turned on the TV, flipping through the channels and every now and then glancing to Shige, who was now reading some book Ryo could care less about. But he just felt like glancing sometimes, making sure Shige was okay.
Koyama wasn’t as talkactive as Yamap was being used of him being. But he decided that if Koyama wanted to talk, he would, and just let the man be. Koyama was listening to some music, with his eyes closed on his bed. He wanted to get up and talk to Shige, but he forced himself to stay here, to leave Shige alone and tried to sort his own thoughts, but failed miserably as soon as he recalled the look on Shige’s face earlier.
Shige was thinking too, remembering a conversation he had had with Koyama a while ago. They had talked about this and that, as always, kind of fooling around on the one, and being totally serious on the other hand. Shige didn’t remember how they ended up talking about sex, it was nothing unusual. But something that Koyama said was burned inside of his memory “I don’t think of myself as straight, gay or bisexual. I think I’m monogamic. If I love someone, I love that person. It doesn’t matter, who it is.” Shige had admired this grown-up point of view, this openness. Shige would have never agreed to that kind of thing. He was too shy in his being, to unsure. But right now, it felt kind of right.
And Shige felt strange again, like every time he had seen Koyama today. Like he was having butterflies in his stomach. He sighed and turned the volume of his iPod up a little. He didn’t hear Ryo getting up and going to the bathroom and just as he glanced over to the watch, noticing how late it was, his eyes were closing from exhaustion. He was tired of wondering, of thinking, of crying. He fell asleep rather fast.
When Ryo got out of the bathroom, he glanced over to Shige, who had fallen asleep on top of his blanket. Ryo shook his head, smiling. Then he got his own blanket and laid it over Shige’s body, before he laid on his own bed, wrapping himself in the hotel bath robe. He was glad that he never got cold in his sleep. And he was glad, that Shige was fast asleep. His face finally looking peaceful again.
Outside of the room, Koyama had raised his hand to knock on the door. He was feeling cold, he was shivering. But he wanted to be with Shige. He didn’t care for Ryo’s stupid comments or for anything else.
But he was hesitating. His hand wasn’t moving.
Nothing will change, I promise. It’ll be okay.
“You’re such a bad liar.” He said to himself, and turned around again, getting away from the door and back to his own room.
AN: Aahh.. I'm sorry for ending it like this. But right now nothing else came to my mind. And what is Ryo doing in there? No idea, I'm just writing what comes to me XD